


Hollow Ghosts

by hernymills



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Bittersweet, F/F, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-25 01:12:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17111645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hernymills/pseuds/hernymills
Summary: written for tumblr user dsnoiyne for Star Trek Secret Santa- "Kira Nerys holosuite"On the second anniversary of her joining, Ezri notices Kira disappear into a holo-program she used with Jadzia once.





	Hollow Ghosts

Ezri sat in Quark's nursing a Black Hole. She came here hoping Jadzia would want to play Tongo or something, but she was beginning to wonder if the Rite of Emergence even worked. She had seen Jadzia in the mirror as the ritual finished, but so far she had experienced nothing akin to Joran following her around the station carrying on conversations. 

None of this was going as she would have hoped; Ben was still with the Prophets, Jake was busy on Bajor, Julian was on a mission with the Defiant, and Ezri was starting to think Kira was just avoiding her. Today was the second anniversary of Jadzia's death and Ezri yearned for some company and yet even Jadzia herself was being elusive. 

A flash of color caught her attention out of the corner of her eye- a familiar stream of pastel fabric floating behind a figure hurrying towards the holosuites, apparently trying to avoid prying eyes. For the first time that day Jadzia made herself known; a surge of unmitigated impulse tinged in Ezri's stomach as she quietly shot out of her seat, eyes determined to pry. 

Kira running the Camelot program– _ running _ to run the program – on her own, today of all days, was something Dax was sure merited investigation. Kira disappeared into the holosuite and Ezri hesitated for just a moment before slipping in as the doors began to close. Her training as a counselor made her mind buzz with worry about violating privacy and crossing boundaries, but she had a little Jadzia in her that was telling her the cause was justified. Still, she felt a little silly crouching behind some foliage in a meadow in Avalon. 

"Computer, initiate program.” Kira's hands were balled into fists at her side, her tense posture in sharp contrast with the soft flow of her costume. “Access image patterns of Starfleet Commander Jadzia Dax.” 

The computer beeped a denial. “Crew records and image patterns are restricted by order of Major Kira of the Bajoran Militia, station's first officer."

Dax hadn't been too surprised that Kira would want the image of Jadzia to reprise her role, not that she would deem the decision particularly healthy. She expected Colonel Kira to override the security protocol, but she must have wanted to avoid leaving a note in the security log. Instead, she accessed the image of “Dr. Honey Bear” from Dr. Bashir's spy program.

The image of Jadzia popped up, albeit with glasses and a lab coat. 

Kira's gaze held some inscrutable as she examined the figure for a long moment. "Computer, use selected pattern for program character Lancelot.”

* * *

 

Ezri felt more and more like some cartoon villain as she hid throughout Kira's program, darting from one hiding place to the next and stealing a hooded cloak when the story brought Kira through a marketplace. She watched as Kira progressed through the program a little less begrudgingly than she had with Dax, but with a little more urgency. Kira seemed a little more engaged this time but there was a new hollowness to the way she carried out the motions. 

At long last came the moment that Ezri had been waiting for with a burning curiosity: the kiss with Lancelot. Would Kira again protest about being a married woman? If so, why bother changing the image pattern? There was also the other option, which held the most intrigue for Dax: would Kira give herself in to the romantic moment with the holo-image of Jadzia? 

Guinevere and Lancelot stood in a moonlit clearing, far from the prying eyes of the king's court, hovering closer than propriety would dictate. Lancelot removed her helmet, her long dark hair fluttering a bit in the wind as she shook it free. Guinevere spluttered as she pulled away a few errant strands that had blown into her mouth, causing Lancelot to chuckle. Kira's splutter faded into a wistful smile at the sound of the familiar laugh. 

Next, Lancelot removed one of her gauntlets and let it fall to the ground with her helmet. Now bare, her right hand brushed back the veil of Guinevere's impressive hat and found Kira's cheek. Kira leaned into the touch of a scientist's hand, soft and precise as the fingers trailed gently towards her jaw. Kira's touch found cool, gleaming metal as she placed a hand to Lancelot's chest. She allowed her chin to be lifted gently in the crook of Lancelot's finger and found herself gazing into bright blue eyes clear with intent. 

Kira leaned up to press their foreheads together, those eyes filling most of her vision. She could no longer take in the lithe form striped with spots, the silky hair or the curve of her lips. She stared into the eyes that studied her, awaiting her next move, ready for however she wanted to steer this fantasy. And that's all this was, a fantasy. 

The reality of the situation came crashing down onto Kira, and suddenly those eyes that were as blue as a pond on a clear day seemed just as shallow. 

The holo-character froze as Kira suddenly tried to bury her head in its shoulder, her forehead pressing against unyielding metal. Ezri took this as her cue. Stepping out of the brush, she approached gently and placed a hand on Kira's shoulder. 

She was rewarded with an elbow to the mouth. 

“Ezri?” Kira halted her next move of self-defense and caught the counselor by the shoulders lest she fall. "What are you doing here?”

“Seems Dax is set to play the role of Lancelot,” Ezri muttered by way of response, touching her fingertips to her lips to check for blood. 

Kira straightened and stiffened, managing a posture of righteous fury despite her attire. “How did you get in, how long have you been here? This is a private program, Lieutenant!"

“Technically, I loaned the program to you.” Ezri's tone held nothing but sincerity. 

Kira crossed her arms, her expression steely. "Jadzia did.”

Ezri sighed. “Let me explain. Computer, end program.”

“You are going to explain, here, now.” Kira did her best to remain intimidating as she removed the hat, throwing it across the holo-suite. 

Ezri nodded and took a seat on the gridded floor. “The lines between Jadzia and Ezri are a little more blurred than usual right now."

Kira's expression softened as she joined Ezri. “Because… of what today is?”

Ezri gave a small nod. “I performed the Rite of Emergence this morning. It helps a joined Trill to gain an enhanced sense of a past host's memories and insight. I thought, maybe, that it would help with the coping process."

A complex series of emotions played over Kira's face as she processed this. “So Jadzia is… here?”

“In a manner of speaking. She's not directly inhabiting me like when you embodied Leela for her zhian'tara, but she has an increased presence.” Ezri placed a hand over Kira's. “I'm really very sorry for invading your privacy. I was… well, really we were worried about you. I saw you rush through the bar, dressed like this, and it seems a little like you've been avoiding me over the past week or so…”

Kira's mouth opened once or twice before she stammered “I… it's been busy in Ops, you know running the station…”

“Nerys,” Ezri cut her off with a smile. “I know you. In two different lifetimes I've come to consider you a friend.” She glanced towards the space where the image of Jadzia has stood a few moments ago. “Maybe more.”

Kira drew her knees to her chest, the skirts of her dress fanning out in a protective circle of fabric. “Speaking of privacy,” she scoffed, “I'm such a hypocrite about using someone's holo-image. I suppose I was trying to… process.”

"Would you like to talk?” Ezri's voice was gentle. 

Kira glanced towards Ezri, looking smaller than she'd ever seen her. "Do you mean talk to Counselor Dax, or to Jadzia?”

"What do you need?”


End file.
